2009-year-of-singing was a tough year. Musically & personally, it was a year of great ups-and-downs. Not just for me, but for the people around me too. It was full of challenges in places I didn't expect to have challenges!

I didn't sing as much as I had wanted. I put a lot of effort into trying to find gigs, writing to so many venues (over and over and over and yes, over) often-times with no response. But, I set up gigs in Perth, Melbourne, Esperance, New York, London, Iowa City & Chicago. There's some big cities in there! I should be proud of myself, and yet instead I think of places like San Francisco, LA, St Louis, Portland & Sydney that I never heard back from. Places that didn't even write to me to say, "No, we don't want you, we think you suck!". But, I don't think I suck (or maybe I am just an imbecile banging her head on a wall in doing this? Where does this blind faith come from?), - I just think I didn't find the right places. And that's ok, I will try different places this year. Because I am not giving up. It's not about the blind faith or some sort of stoic determination, it's just because it is what I have to do. Shit, not even what I *have* to do, just what I do. Music is just what I do because I want to.

In 2009 I also wrote, I drew, I made art, I read, I played a little guitar, and I worked really hard on the thing I love.

Yes, we came back to NY. I love it, but I feel sick! I am super-duper excited that I got my old job back (see what I mean by back where we started?), but it is now only part-time - which gives me more time to work on my own thing, and not so much money to enjoy NY (which is greatly enjoyed with some cash!). I thought about getting another part-time job - waitressing, bar-tending, retail, office, anything - but everything makes me feel sick. Really sick. Nope, I gotta stick with this. I don't know what I am doing, don't know where I am going, have no direction & get dizzy when I start thinking about what to 'do next' (really, it becomes physical - my head swarms with all the things I am 'supposed to do' - get an agent, record deal, publishing deal, practice, write more, do covers, or not, what genre am I? where do I belong? Should I try and tour? How? How do I become someone's support act? Who should I try and meet? I get STUNTED!!!). So, I am trying to just sit here, and tell myself to write the best new album that I can. That is all that is important for now. I can try and get gigs ONCE A WEEK! I don't have to be attached to the computer every second updating blogs, EPK's, Facebook, Myspace, Reverbnation, SonicBids, Twitter, etsy (oh yes, believe it, I started an Etsy store!), 'fixing' my website aaaahhhh!! I am gonna go insane!

But I feel like this year music is going to change for me again. You know those years? I remember when I went through starting to play originals after singing jazz standards for many years. I was scared that people wouldn't like it, that they wouldn't get it. I have been thinking lately about trying to please audiences more, reaching out to a bigger and wider audience, and what would they want from me?  But when it boils down to it, I can only be myself. I don't know what I am doing, except being me. I don't know how to be anything else, nor do I want to be. Sometimes I am happy, sometimes not. Sometimes I write happy songs, mostly not. Sometimes its jazz, sometimes not. But, I can tell you one thing, it is all me, baby!

So, what do I want to in 2010?

Sing.

Cook. (I started a blog called Bessie Pearl's Ledger, all about recipes from my Great-Grandma, - and am having the BEST time).

Write.

See more of my friends.

I think I just might be able to manage that! I hope you'll join me as I write about it along the way!

Happy 2010!

xx n

Click blog title to view video!

They were following around the RAGBRAI crew. "RAGBRAI?" I hear you call! Yes! It is a bike ride ACROSS Iowa. Not just ANY bike ride, but The Register’s Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa. Not a race or anything, just a bike ride. It takes 7 days, 400-somethin' miles from the Missouri River in the West, to the Mississippi in the East. Every night the cyclists stop in a different town, and party, I believe. It's a different route every year and THOUSANDS of people do it! I think I might do it next year. I might (note: WILL) have to start training, I think. But I do believe that it will be more manageable for me than the New York Marathon, which I was inspired to *want* to do after my friend ran by me as I spectated last year, cup of coffee in hand, just after I rolled outta bed in time to catch her. There's no way I would do that though, I hate running. But biking, I like that. If anyone wants to get a team going, you'll probably inspire me to actually train!

We also went to Rutledge Flea Market, (the auctions are amazing at this place - I am going to post a video soon - believe me, you must watch it!), Balloons over the Mississippi, the Lee County Fair Demolition DerbyKeosauqua State Park. We didn't get to go to Trek-Fest (at the future birth-place of Captain James T. Kirk) - very nearby here, nor the Iowa City Jazz Festival which I completely forgot about it, which is really quite pathetic, as it is really awesome. (pit-crew of course!) and to the "beach" at

Iowa is great!

As you can probably tell, there's been no gigs! And it has been lovely to relax for a little.

OK, I'm going to (finally) sign-off now! I'll post pictures from the Iowan Summer below. Seeya later, Nerissa PS. Don't forget the July special - you've got one more day to download those free songs (that you can't even buy if you want to!) or get the albums for really cheap if you want them!

American Barnstormers


Balloons over the Mississippi


Lacey-Keosauqua State Park "beach"


Lee County Fair grandstands with an awesome sunset!


I felt particularly like I was in a movie with this rainbow over the corn fields.

I just bought this print from Malleus Rock Art Lab in Italy. I have been LOVING it since I saw it at the Roadburn Festival in Tilburg this April. The guys at Malleus designed the poster for the Roadburn Festival, (I'll post it below so you can see it..) which I also REALLY wanted - a) because it is awesome, and b) because I played there! Alas, it sold out super quickly at the festival, and then when they posted more online they were snapped up in a cinch. I keep waiting and looking and writing in the hopes that they will make more, but couldn't contain myself any longer and went ahead and snapped up this other one that I have been eyeing incessantly. I can't WAIT to get it! They have a lot of great silk-screened and off-set posters, check them out here. One coveted poster down - only about 30 to go...

Here's some pics from the trip - random things.

singing in Tilburg

a cool bar in Romania

Belgian Frites in Belgium

FEBO in the Netherlands

Sommer Casino graffiti in Switzerland

Italian graffiti

Budapest

I had the BEST time in Australia! Not only was it HOT in comparison to New York (only about a 40 degree celsius difference!), but there is something so grounding in spending time in the place where you are from, with people who have known you a long time. I can't explain it, but I needed it!

And not only did I get to hang out with my family and friends, I spent a lot of time at the beach (THE most beautiful ones I have ever been to!) and got to see a lot of Western Australia that I have not seen before.

I also got to perform at TWO gigs with my brother, Justin. This is always a real treat for me! We don't play the same music, or even listen to the same music - but none of that matters when you can just hang out with your brother and jam and have fun. I am trying to convince him to move to NY so we can do just that more often! (And after that, there's two more siblings to convince...look out!) Isn't he cute?!

The cd release tour was so amazing. More than the gigs, just seeing so many people that I haven't seen in so long - performing with my old (and some new!) mates was such a great experience. I really moved a LONG ways away when I emigrated to the States, (only a 30-hour plane ride!) and whenever I go home I can really feel that. (..Hmmm...obviously - I have to UNWRAP myself from a seated position in order to get off the plane... Oh, and hey - has anyone ever had the same experience flying Emirates where you put your seat back, and the BOTTOM of the seat also rises and your feet can't touch the ground and dangle in mid-air for 14-hours straight? It's seriously like Chinese water torture - I don't get it!).

Anyway, now here I am in Berlin - mainly just hanging out before I go on tour with A Storm of Light and letting a few good ideas swim around in this city of creativity! I'll let you know all about it all next time... Meanwhile, happy Spring!

Well, somehow it is June 1st, but here I am catching you up on my European adventures! I'll start with Berlin... We had always wanted to visit Berlin, as we had heard so many great things about it. We found a sublet in Kreuzberg - a cool neighbourhood with a lot of Turkish immigrants who made absolutely wonderful food! (Always great for a couple of food lovers). At first the weather was absolutely terrible, especially after enjoying the sunshine in Australia - but once the sun came out it was great. We lived right by Admiral-brucke, or Admiral Bridge, - which for some reason was where a lot of locals just went to hang out. People spilled out onto the road, drinking beer and wine, playing music, talking and enjoying being outside and amongst life. I bought a cd by a guy called Nikolaus Herdieckerhoff - who was busking on electric cello and was awesome!
You can check him out at http://www.cellolitis.de/startseite.php

There was also some amazing street art. It was so great to see such amazing work adorning the buildings of Berlin, and I wondered about the lack of it in NY. I don't know if it is a law thing, I think probably it is, - but the art was amazing, and really added to the experience of Berlin for me. Just when we arrived we heard about this Argentinian street artist called Blu - who does this amazing wall-art animation. I was in awe of it as we watched it online (http://www.blublu.org/sito/video/muto.htm) - if you like animation and graffiti you have to check it out. Anyway, our train - the U1 - went right by a great piece, which we found out was by this guy! Right near it was another piece, which we are sure MUST be another of his works that looks like it might be being made into wall-art animation... We aren't certain, but keep looking to see if our wish may come true!

Besides the graffiti and the hanging out we were also lucky enough to have a couple of friends living in Berlin - one of whom is an English language walking tour guide - what luck! If you are in Berlin, you definitely should do this.. I have never taken many tours, as such, but Berlin is a place I am glad to have done so. There is obviously so much history and to hear and see it all on a walking tour was an amazing experience to fully realise that. The company is http://www.insidertour.com

We also did a lot of writing in Berlin (with a lack of instrument to play music on - thanks to a measly 27lb weight limit on international flights these days - it was all I could do) - and I look forward to turning the new words into songs - I hope over the summer. We spent a lot of days at a great cafe called Cafe Luzia on Oranienstrasse, which was covered in art by an artist called Chin Chin. (www.myspace.com/chinchin) I was so excited to visit a flea market one weekend and find her there selling t-shirts and printed scraps of fabric. I snatched up one of the latter, which I am going to frame, and it was my only souvenir from Berlin (that weight limit thing again!) - besides some great pictures, great adventures and some fantastic reunions with old mates.

Then it was onto Italy to meet up with A Storm of Light and my induction into touring with them!

Well, it has been (a busy) while! I promise I will post more news soon, along with pics, to let you know what I have been up to. Meanwhile, excitingly, if you are in Poland, you can pick up this month's copy of Audio Magazyn, where my song 'Stranger Lurking' is featured on the compilation album! If you're not in Poland, you can still get the song... just CLICK HERE!